Husband Hunting

OK so he called again. It took a week. He says he desperately wants to see you again. He can’t live without seeing you again. If this is how he reacts when he’s desperate can you image how long it’s going to take to get him to the alter? Be of good faith. These things take time. He is just moving more like an elephant than a tiger. You should have no trouble keeping up. Here’s what to do and what not to do on your second date.

• All the dos and don’ts from the first date are still in effect.
• Do not act like he is doing you a favor by asking you out again.
• Do act like you’re happy he did ask you out again.
• Don’t ask Mr. Coward why it took him so long to call.
• On the basis of your current history with him, don’t expect him to make the first move. He is not even sure why he called you again.
• Try and make him think this is a natural thing and help him to relax. He is not naturally an initiator of social interactions.
• What you want to accomplish on this date is to make him feel that this is the way things are supposed to be. He is supposed to want to be with you.
• At this stage don’t worry too much about frequency. It is going to take time to get him into the groove of dating you on a regular basis.
• Just to be safe, it’s OK to get Mr. Bravehart’s telephone number this time in case he loses his courage and you have to call him.
• Please try and remember that at this point he doesn’t know why he is dating you, but he is starting to get a nagging feeling that he is getting too involved.
• You must make him feel that this is natural – no big deal.
• Do not mention long-term commitments.
• Do not act too serious. Act like as much of a birdbrain as he is. This will make him relax. Then you can move in

… “No honey, I didn’t mean into his apartment. Take is easy. Don’t rush things.”

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(C) Copyright Arthur Levine 2009